i regret so many things... whenever i step out of my room, into school, into class, i just regret everything that comes out of my mouth. i regret the things i do and the things i dont. it isnt just that they are unneccassary (unecassary? unecasary?), its that they are untrue. they aren't what i feel or think or want at all.
then every day when i get home, i suddenly feel alright and i feel ready to be me. In the mornings I resolve not to be so fucking weird but it never actually works...
thats why the people who are actually my friends (of which there are few), the overriding quality that they share is a deep deep deep wonderful ability to be patient.
i wish i could be patient myself, i wish i could just settle and calm my own nerves down but its difficult. i'm sorry.
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